try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
