I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
