did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
