I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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