My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
