Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
