But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
