Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Drake has all the answers
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
