The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
