Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
