Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
