Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
