Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
