I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
