Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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