Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize