I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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