Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone

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(450): View more from Quebec

Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.

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(765): View more from Indiana

just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.

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(936): View more from Texas

I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Why do you have to go to the hospital?

(407): View more from Florida

I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me

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(248): View more from Michigan

Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?

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(928): View more from Arizona

Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?

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(858): View more from California

If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.

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