I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
