People in love make me want to vomit
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
