So drunk its hurt
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
