U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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