Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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