there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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