I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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