You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The Olympian is in my bed
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
