i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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