is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
