Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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