So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
