Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
