dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize