It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize