My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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