I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So. Much. Porn.
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