there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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