I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
