We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drunk is not a location!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
