she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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