Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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