You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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