I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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