Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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