So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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