Porn is love you can see.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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