At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
