I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
