I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
