Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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