I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
