We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
