I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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