She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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